Perfectly imperfect
by jayjay1612
Summary: What if Penny would be pregnant and nothing would work how it should? How will Leonard react? How can make something she never wanted her life perfect?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one 

Penny sat at the bottom of the bathroom floor. Her thoughts were far away. She was waiting for her timer to ring. She took this morning a pregnancy test. Penny wasn't sure if she´s pregnant. In the last weeks she had a few signs she might be, and she haven't got her period. But Penny had no idea _how_ she could get pregnant. Leonard used every single time a condom! At first, she thought her period was just late, but now it´s late for 2 weeks and she had to throw up in the last mornings, so she thought she should take a pregnancy test, just to be sure.

It was time, the timer ringed. Penny turned the sound off, closed her eyes and took a deep breathe.

"Okay, Penny. You are not pregnant. Everything is okay. You have always used protection. You can´t be pregnant." Told Penny herself.

She walked over to the test. But instead of looking at the test, she looked at the mirror. Her heart was beating. It felt like it´s going to jump out of her chest. Penny realized, if she would turn her head down, she would see the pregnancy test. And this pregnancy test would tell her if she was pregnant. If she got a baby. A little human-being. If she would become a Mummy. She got pale while thinking about the word "Mummy". Penny closed her eyes again and counted to three. Slowly turned she her head down. But she wasn't brave enough to open her eyes. Penny was scared. She didn't know where this thought came from, but she realized that she can compare this with Schrödinger's cat. There is no result if she´s pregnant. If Pennys eyes are closed, she´s at the same time pregnant and not pregnant. But she couldn't let her eyes closed for the rest of her life, so she opened her eyes. In her eyes were tears, what made her unable to see anything. She dried the tears and took with a shaking hand the pregnancy test. It was positive. Penny didn't know what to do. She didn´t even know what to think or to feel. Should she be happy? But she had never thought about having a baby, she didn't even know if she wants to have one. Should she be sad? But maybe it´s a wonderful thing to get a baby. Bernadette wanted also no baby and it was one of the best days of her life when she held Haley the first time ever in her arms. Should she give it a try? But if she gives it a try and doesn't like it, what should she do? Suddenly she felt not strong enough for standing, she sat down and started crying. She cried everything out. In her arms and legs was no feeling anymore. Leonard would come home soon. And Penny knows what a bad actress she was, Leonard would see somethings wrong with her. But Penny had still some time to finish the whole thing. She has the might to make a doctor appointment and abort the baby. No one would ever know. It would be like it has never existed. It felt right for Penny to do this. She wanted to call the doctor tomorrow. She will abort this baby and her life would go on.

Penny planned to spend the rest of the day with cleaning up the apartment and cooking dinner for Leonard. She decided to make some handmade burgers. Leonard likes burgers and Penny wants him to be happy. Penny prepared the ground beef and put it into the fridge because it had to chill for a half hour. Suddenly Penny felt very tired. She went over to the couch and closed her eyes. The next thing she remembers was Leonard trying to wake her up. Does she fell asleep?

"Leonard? What… I´m…"

Penny was confused. She was always confused after a nap.

"Did you sleep?" Leonard asked.

"It was an accident.", Penny answered. She had a head ache and didn't feel well. "Leonard, I think I go to bed. I don't feel good. I prepared some burgers for dinner. You can eat them if you want to."

Penny went to bed. She was so tired, she doesn't know why. This must be the pregnancy.

When Penny woke up in the next morning, she realized that she slept the whole night with her hand on her stomach. She has never done this before. Not like _this._

Leonard entered the door with a tablet in his hands.

"Morning, honey." He said with a big smile on his face. "I thought I bring you some breakfast in you be…"

"GET OUT OF THE WAY!" Penny interrupted him and run into the bathroom. When she smelled the coffee Leonard brought, she felt sick and she thought she had to throw up. She was right because when she arrived into the bathroom, she had to puke. She couldn't even remember when she puked the last time like this. Penny was happy that she reached the toilet and didn't puke at the floor. Leonard came also into the bathroom, held her hair back and tried to calm her down.

He asked:" Are you okay?"

Penny got pissed by it. "Do I look like I`m okay?"

Leonard didn't know what to answer so he just said nothing.

When Penny thought she was done with it, she told Leonard that she will stay at home today. When Leonard wanted to leave the bathroom, Penny told him to put the coffee away and open the windows in the apartment.

Leonard went off to work and Penny went over to her mobile phone. She wanted to tap the number of her gynecologist into her phone, but something felt different. She realized that she can´t abort the baby. It´s something what´s living. It´s going to breathe and to speak and to move. It will be a part of her and… no. This is something she never saw like this. It´s the prove of her and Leonards' love. They created a new human what´s growing inside her. She had to raise and to protect it with her life and that's what she going to do.

But she still had to call her gynecologist and make an appointment to check if the baby is healthy. She got the appointment for this afternoon. She had still some time left until she had to leave the apartment, so she spent the time with watching tv. She wanted to watch the first Harry Potter movie and she got confused because she had never thought she would watch it. She cried at the end. It was so beautiful for her to see how happy Harry was with his new friends and he doesn't have to live at the Dursleys house anymore for the rest of his life.

It was time for Penny to get off to her doctor.

The first thing she did with the doctor was answering some questions. Penny told the doctor that she hasn't got her period I a while and about the morning sickness and she realized by herself that it must be completely clear that she was pregnant. The doctor asked her to go over to the ultrasound and to lift her shirt up. Penny did what the doctor told her.

"This can be a bit cold now." Said the doctor and she was right – it was very cold! Penny didn't look at the display of the ultrasound machine. She couldn't get over herself to look at hers and Leonards' child. There was a scary silence in the room and Penny wished the doctor would finally say something. But the next thing what the doctor says, let Pennys blood freeze.

"Congratulations!" said the Doctor and Penny smiled. Suddenly Penny felt happy to be pregnant. Penny turned her head to the display and stopped smiling.

"You´re pregnant with triplets!" said the doctor. Penny didn't know what to say. She had also no idea how to react. All she knew was that she wished that Leonard was here. The next few minutes were horrible for Penny. She was not able to listen to the doctor. She got a new appointment for next week. When Penny sat finally in her car, she realized that the doctor gave her a bunch of Papers. The first pictures were some Ultrasound pictures of the babies. "3 weeks" says the caption. The next three papers were a list with things about pregnancy. They say what Penny had to do, what to buy, what she wasn't allowed to do anymore and so on.

Penny had no idea how she should teach Leonard about it. It had to be a shock for him. A big one! He wasn't even prepared for a pregnancy, what would he say about triplets?


	2. Chapter 2

The weeks flew by and Pennys morning sickness got better. On the day after the doctor appointment, she talked to her boss and asked him to work part time because of the pregnancy. He was okay with it, so she worked just in the afternoons from now. Penny didn't know why, but she hasn't told Leonard about the pregnancy yet. Always when she wanted to tell him, it was no good moment, so she planned to tell him about it tonight. She placed the pregnancy test at the kitchen island. Leonard would come back home late at night. He told Penny that he wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons with the rest of the boys. Penny planned to go to bed early, so Leonard would be alone when he spots the pregnancy test. She placed a post-it what says "we become a mummy and daddy" next to it.

When Penny went to bed, she didn't feel well. It was no good feeling for her to tell Leonard she´s pregnant. She doesn't know why, but it let her feel uncomfortable. Penny run into the kitchen and took the pregnancy test into her room. After calming down, Penny decided to watch "Grown Ups". She needed a comedy movie to become a better mood.

She had to fell asleep again, because the next thing Penny remembers was Leonard carrying her in her bed.

"Leonard? What… are you doing?"

"I found you sleeping at the couch and I wasn't able to wake you up, so I try to carry you into your bed."

Penny tried to stay awake until Leonard came into the bed too.

"Leonard, I need to tell you something."

"What?" asked Leonard, but Penny didn't hear it because she fell back asleep.

The next thing Penny knows is how she woke up and she felt a big pain in her uterus. At first, she thought she got her period, but then she realized she can´t get her period anymore. From one second to the other she was awake and didn't felt sleepy anymore. Her whole body was shaking. Her bed felt wet and warm. Penny knew what this can be. What it is going to be. She turned on the little lamp next to her and found herself in her bed with blood-covered legs. Penny was not able to stop shaking. This was too much for her, she started crying. At first, she cried silently. She didn't want to wake Leonard. After a time, she was not able anymore to see something. She didn't feel well. Penny felt dizzy and leaned back. Now Penny saw how dangerous this situation is and that she had to go to the hospital. She tried to wake Leonard. When Leonard finally woke up, Penny was already unconscious. But Penny was still able to think and in her head was nothing but a scream. She screamed as loud as she could. Suddenly she heard another scream next to her ear. It was herself. She had a nightmare. She turned on the lamp and checked everything. She checked if she bleeds, if she has pain or felt dizzy. Leonard woke up too and asked what the problem was. Penny just stared at him.

"Leonard… I…" Penny wasn't sure what to say. All she did was starting to cry.

Leonard gave her a tight hug. Penny wanted to last this hug forever. It felt so save and she felt so protected. After a few minutes Penny felt better and calmed down. Leonard took her back into their bed and wrapped his arm around her. They fell back asleep and Penny had no new nightmares anymore.

Penny remembered in the morning about the nightmare from last night and everything she did was praying that this will never happen. After a view in her calendar she knew, that today was the beginning of her 7th week being pregnant, and Penny saw the first time ever a sign of a little pregnant belly. It made her super happy, but she realized that her clothes still cover it and made it invisible. She took a photo of it, maybe it would make a beautiful memory.

One week later was Pennys next doctor appointment. The doctor said that the babies are healthy and so Penny is as well. Penny was happy to hear it, she started to like being pregnant and she liked also the thought that a part of Leonard is always inside her. But the doctor warned her of a few things, for example that she had to hurry up with buying new clothes, in less than two month her old ones won´t fit anymore. The doctor told Penny also that she had to take care of herself. She should be always careful, try not to get angry and always try to stay calm. Because of three babies instead of one the risk of getting a miscarriage is bigger than usually.

Penny got again some ultrasound pics. She took a picture of it and decided to take them as her wallpaper on her phone. On her way back home, she had the idea to visit Bernadette. Maybe she needs help with the children and Penny could help her practice a little bit.

When penny arrived, Bernadette opened the door with Haley in her arms.

"Hey Bernie! Hi Haley!" Penny said and waved the little girl. Haley hided her face in her mother´s shoulder. Haley was so shy and cute!

"What are you doing here, Penny? Don't you have to go to work?" asked Bernadette, and Penny explained her that she has today a free day. But she didn't tell her that it was because of the doctor appointment.

Penny played the next two hours with Haley, what was fun for both. Bernadette took care Neil.

Bernadette watched Penny and Haley for a while and Bernadette had the feeling somethings different. Why should Penny volunteer for helping her with the children? Bernie walked over to the girls.

"Haley, I have to take your aunt with me. I have to ask her something very important!"

They didn't really left Haley alone, they just walked a few meters away.  
"What do you want to ask me?" asked Penny.

"Penny, is there something you should tell me? I think I already know, but I want to hear from you, if you are okay."

Penny got pale. From where should Bernadette knew? It´s not obvious that she´s pregnant. Penny got also nervous, didn't know what to say.

"No, there is nothing you should know." Heard penny finally saying herself. "I-I have to go. I have still things left at home I need to do. Bye. Bye-Bye, Haley!" said Penny and the little girl smiled shy and waved back to her aunt.

Penny drove back home, a little frustrated. She had no clue from were Bernie could know Penny was pregnant. Or meant Bernadette something different? Was Penny just overreacting? She didn´t know. She had to wait the next few weeks to see what happens.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

In the upcoming weeks Penny was really depressed. She felt bad and had no energy to do anything. And the worst thing was, that every time someone asked why she´s depressed or if she´s okay, she couldn't tell them she´s worried about the marriage to Leonard. She was scared that Leonard wants to divorce because she acts weird. She acts like she had a secret. Penny had a secret, but for Leonard could it look like she´s cheating on him because she didn't talk about her feelings anymore, didn't want to get intimate with him anymore and tries to spend as less time as possible with him. After three horrible weeks of being depressed, saw Penny that she need really some bigger clothes. If she wears her "normal" clothes, everyone who knew her, would see she´s expecting a child. She covered her growing bump in a big and wide hoodie and put on some yoga pants. It was Saturday, so she can wear yoga pants.

Suddenly she heard a knock at the door. It was Amy. Penny was surprised to see her, they didn't talk in a while.

"Oh. Hi Amy. What are you doing here?" asked Penny.

"I saw you´re not doing well in the last time.", answered Amy, "So I thought you want to spend the day with me and would like to go shopping. I know you really do like shopping and maybe you become a better mood."

At first, Penny wanted to say no, but then she thought it would be good for her to spend her day with Amy. She put on some regular jeans, but she struggled with closing them. Finally, she was done with getting ready, so Penny and Amy drove to the mall. They went to one of their favorite shops there. It sold clothes Penny liked but also clothes what were in Amys kind of style. Penny pretended like she´s looking for clothes and Amy looked for clothes too. Five minutes later Amy run to Penny and showed her best friend a tank top. A very tight tank top. Amy asked Penny to try it on and told her she would look beautiful in it. Penny was unsure. It was too tight for her and Amy still doesn't know she´s pregnant. Penny said no but Amy pleased her a thousand times. After a thousand times of saying no, Penny said yes.

"One day I can´t hide it anymore, so why shouldn't I tell her now I´m pregnant." Thought Penny.

Penny went into the dressing room and put on the tank top. Her bump was bigger than she thought. She got a bit nervous. Her hands were shaking and sweating. One last time she threw a few into the mirror to get more self-confidence and walked out of the dressing room.

"Here I am." She said and smiled at Amy.

Amy smiled and wanted to make a compliment until she discovered something.

"Penny? What´s that… Is that-… Penny, are you- Are you pregnant?"

Penny felt her cheeks burning and getting red. It was a bit embarrassing for her. She smiled a bit shy and tried to hide her face behind her hair while she answered with "Yes, I am."

Amy hugged her and congratulated her.

"Congratulations! I´m so happy for you! How far are you?"  
"Eleven Weeks." Penny answered.

"Eleven weeks?", asked Amy, "Well, that's not much. You look like- you look like you´re four month now."

Penny didn't know how to answer. She looked down at her bump. It was much bigger than she expected. "I´m… expecting triplets." Said Penny finally.

Amy´s view was more than confusing. She blinked one time and said "Okay, I was prepared for everything but this. Are you sure you will handle this? I mean you have a career and a job and everything. What said Leonard about the news?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I mean- I haven't told him yet."

Amy sighed. "Penny… listen. This is a very serious situation. You are in a high-risk pregnancy. There is always the risk, that you have suddenly a miscarriage. Don't you think, its better for everyone, if Leonard knew he´s going to be a father?"

Penny got depressed about it and started to tell Amy about everything. How she took the pregnancy test and how she had the doctor appointment where the doctor told her she´s expecting triplets and how worried she was about her marriage to Leonard. Amy listened to it and tried to calm Penny down because she was nearly crying.

"Penny, maybe you should not wait any longer. Tonight, when you returned back home, you will strait tell him, and you won´t wait until the perfect moment came, you are going to say it right out."

Penny nodded. "Amy? Can we please going to eat something, please? I think I´m starving."

"Sure. Do you have anything specific in your mind?"

"Maybe… what about French snail? If you want to?"

"What the hell, no?!"

Pennys voice started shaking. "Okay. But… ", she sighed, "I´d really love to eat French snails." A tear rolled over her cheek. Stupid hormones.

Amy didn't want to make Penny sad. Its harder than she thought to bring her best friend back to happiness. Amy told Penny to change at first her clothes and think about, what will be the best for her and her baby.

After a time, Penny had to ask Amy for help, because she was not able to close her trousers. It was so embarrassing for Penny! Amy asked Penny to go shopping in a maternity shop. They went at first to a restaurant what sold Penny some French Snails, to satisfy her cravings, and After that they went to buy some clothes for Penny, what she was thankful for.

After a time, Penny got tired and felt a little stomach ache. She held her waist with one hand asked Amy to go home because she´s tired.

Amy was okay with it and they left the shopping center. Penny felt very uncomfortable, dizzy and everything at her body hurt. Amy stopped to watch through the window of a store, but Penny kept walking. All she wanted to do was to go home, tell Leonard about the triplets and go to sleep. When Amy looked where Penny was, and found her, she discovered something. "Penny? PENNY!" she wanted to warn her best friend, but it was too late. She felt down to the ground and hit her head on the floor. Amy run to her and tried to talk to her. She slapped softly her cheek when she saw the blood on Pennys trousers. "No…" Penny woke up. The first thing Amy did, was to call the ambulance. Second, she told Penny what happened and that she might have a miscarriage. "Oh my god..." Penny started shaking and breathed very flat. Amy told her to stay calm if she wants her babies to survive. The ambulance came, but they just took Penny with them. Amy drove with her into the hospital. While driving, she called Leonard.

"Leonard? Listen, I need to tell you something. Penny is driving with the ambulance to the hospital and it looks like she…"

"What?", Leonard interrupted her, "What happened?"

"Leonard, please calm down and listen to me. There is something you need to know! Penny is pregnant with your children and it seems like she had a miscarriage. I don't know if she or the babies…"

"BabIES?" Leonard interrupted her again.

"LEONARD! Shut up and listen to me! I don't know if your children or Penny will survive the whole thing, so please just come to the hospital to stay be here for your wife if… if there´s happening anything we can´t stop."


End file.
